Yesterday, I had my second meeting with the grief counselor from hospice, and today it has finally sunk in that I no longer need to be wedded to my telephone. I need not expect a call from hospital, retirement center or nursing home, demanding decisions from me. Unless by or about a sibling or my husband, which is quite different from decision-making on behalf of a parent. I can leave my telephone in the house, on its charger in the other room…even when I go shopping.
I discover that I have been sitting in this chair, subconsciously feeling that it has been an uncomfortable amount of time since the phone has rung, summoning me, and I’ve been waiting for the ball to drop…the sky to fall on me…the river to flood or a tornado to head in my direction.
I think that I should do things out of the routine for a few days: exercising, going for a walk, playing the piano. I could find something else to do with the chicken breasts that Al bought at the butcher shop.
This afternoon I have tallied the sequence of the most unsettling events and losses in my life, as well as unwelcome discoveries, and decided that I really do need to take some mental health days. (One can do that, even when one is no longer an employee, I assume. And much more easily!) My tally of “life changes” points just needs some time to time out.
I did also get out into the back yard to help Al raise the last section of the final wall of the workshop. I expect that it won’t be long before the windows are delivered and the walls will sport door, windows, plywood (inside) and pressboard (outside).
I have no commitments, now, until next month’s haircut, aside from any holiday doings over the weekend. For which I do not have to cook. I think that I will pull up the latest edition of Stress Management and find out what changes, if any, have been made to the stress-relieving exercises and imageries.
A bright note to the day. The keepsake that I had ordered from Café Press arrived with this afternoon’s mail delivery. I decided on a keepsake notions box, because if at some point, I have to move out of the house, it will be readily portable. SFF Net closed down at the end of last month, and it was pretty much my Internet home for nearly twenty years. I’m missing it a lot.